Apple Store Glasgow Exterior

Or how to make it sunny in Glasgow…

If you’re following along with the progress of the Apple Store Glasgow, you’ll probably know that the plans have just been given conditional approval.

But wouldn’t you like to see what Steve has planned for the exterior...

But first a tale of two photographs. The first photograph is of Steve’s notes from the MacWorld 07 keynote, a photograph which offered a tantalizing glimpse into the orchestration behind such a keynote — no stack of 3 by 5 index cards for Steve! Rumors that Steve was outraged at photos of his notes appearing on the web, and insisting that all future notes be printed in invisible ink that only he can read, are completely unfounded — largely because I just made it up.

The second photograph is really two alternate realities of the same photograph. The first time I saw the gleaming exterior of the Apple Store in San Francisco I stood on the other side of Market Street to take a photograph of it. But try as I might I just couldn't find an angle that didn't have the building hidden behind a tangle of overhead trolley electricity lines, or poles, or signs, or other bits and pieces. I knew it was possible — I had seen the photograph on Apple’s own website. Now, ifoAppleStore make the outrageous claim that this is because all the obstructions were Photoshop-ed out, and other buildings were Photoshop-ed in. I wouldn’t be surprised if they weren’t sued for such crazy talk — I have it on extremely good authority that the photograph that Apple uses was, by an amazing coincidence, taken on the day when all the power poles and cables had been spontaneously taken down for cleaning by the people who do that sort of thing.

One more thing. One more photograph. A photograph obtained by cunning means, including the use of an iSight hack. A photograph that indicates what Glasgow has in store when the Apple Store Glasgow finally arrives. Yes, we proudly present Steve’s top-secret drafts for the external rendering of the Apple Store Glasgow:

So it looks like we don’t need global warming — the presence of the Apple Store Glasgow will make every day in Glasgow a whole lot sunnier!

Update: just in case you’re wondering: we haven't received a cease-and-desist order because we made the whole thing up. But if Bono does turn up to help Steve open the Apple Store Glasgow, well, you heard it here first.